When we talk about our relationships we, on occasion, talk about soulmates. These are people who we feel a total connection to mentally rather than physically and with whom the word ‘forever’ will not seem out of place. But do these soulmates exist, or are they just a romantic notion to move a relationship onto a more secure mental basis?
The theory of soulmates can be traced back to the ancient Greeks, specifically Aristophanes in Plato’s symposium. Humans originally consisted of four arms and legs with a single head which had two faces. They were a rumbustious lot and created havoc cartwheeling around earth. So Zeus decided that whilst he could not wipe them out completely as he had done with the giants because they were quite handy in their slavish adoration of the Gods, he needed to do something to rein them in and control their power. So he split them all in half into the humans which we now are with two arms and legs and one face and condemmed them to a life eternally searching for their other half – or their soulmate – a rather sad tale.
A more modern take on the subject of the soulmate is not really that different from the ancient one although perhaps a more romantic one. A true romantic belives that every person’s soul has a counterpart and that they can only achieve happiness and fulfillment from finding and connecting with that counterpart soul. There is some discussion and some difference of opinion as to whether soul mates come together naturally or whether in fact they must earn their affinity – a sort of karmic ‘what comes around goes around’ and I am not clever enough to know the answer to that one. But having had a life, many realtionships and my fair share of ups and downs, this I do know – if we are open hearted, open minded, generous with our love and feelings, honest and true then there is every chance that we will find our counterpart. If karma has anything to do with it, and I’m sure that it does, and if we are all of those things then there is no reason why those things will not be reciprocated. If we are mean minded, dishonest and fraudulent then we are not in a good position to attract anything more than those traits in others. The HC says that in giving we receive and that is very true on every level good and bad. I have always thought that it takes so much more effort to be nasty than nice and the various nasty people who I have encountered in my life seem to be deeply unhappy people.
Life is not ideal at times and sometimes we have to make the best of what we have. It could also be considered that having an obsession with being soulmates puts unecessary pressure on a relationship by creating impossible expectations (see my theories on expectation over reality!). But if being soulmates means that you want to be with that person forsaking all others, that you love them for who rather than what they are, that they make you feel safe and secure and that you love and cherish each other then I can subscribe to the soulmates theory – not the ancient Greek one perhaps but the more romantic notion that we can have a lasting and real affinity with some people in our lives and thus we can feel contentment and fulfillment.