Today I am pausing for thought, reviewing the situation and not making any impulsive decisions.
As I have got older I have come to realise that it is not always about what you want but rather what you don’t want and I am sure that is directly related to age. As teenagers and young hopefuls we aspire to have it all – jobs, houses, cars, partners, lovers – whatever. But as we get older, the material things become less important and a sense of being happy in ourselves takes over. If we are happy in our own skins then the rest will follow.
So what is it that I don’t want? I don’t want to be second best, ever again. I don’t want to feel uncared for and unloved. I don’t want to sacrifice happiness for the sake of being in an unequal relationship. I don’t want expectation to exceed reality and I don’t want to regret my decisions. If that means that I end up with the cat for company then so be it.
I have much to give, much to be thankful for and hopefully much to look forward to. But not at just any old price. As I get older I realise that I am worth more than I have given myself credit for in the past and I will in the future be demanding that full worth – because as the ad says, I’m worth it.
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