It has been a funny old weekend Dear Reader. A weekend that whatever I have done, wherever I have been there has been one over riding thing lurking. This weekend last year my Dad died. Strictly speaking date wise it will be tomorrow, the 25th, but it was in fact, Saturday night. I remember this very precisely because as coincidence would have it, we had dinner with the same friends on this Friday that we were having dinner with on the night that he died. We all recalled this and were thankful for no awful phone calls in the midst of things. In case you’re wondering, we carried on with the dinner last year and drank many toasts. We drank another to him on Friday night too.
The most interesting thing if you like that has come out of this past year (and I know that this is perhaps a huge cliché) is that I have realised who my friends are and that some of those friends may not necessarily have been people who you have ever met in person. I have also realised how crashingly disappointingly some so called friends behave at a time when you need nurture, sympathy, empathy and love the most. There was one person in particular who behaved so very badly, so selfishly and so unsympathetically that it took my breath away. Who was so self-absorbed with their own pursuit and gain that friendship went out of the window. A year on I am still smarting and haven’t quite got my head around forgiveness. Whilst one should never do anything with the expectation of reciprocation, I did expect more.
But on the up side there were some wonderful surprises – and so to the people who I have never met thank you – to Al and Anna and Rachel, thank you for your kind words, your cards and gifts. In particular to Fiona for her wise words on parental death and to Pete for his constant bolstering and good humour just when I need it. To the constants, the Folliers, always friends extraordinaire, my lovely brothers and sisters in law and lastly but most importantly to TG and my wonderful children who provide all the comfort in the world. Before this turns into an Oscars speech I shall stop!
And so Dad, here’s to you. I still think about you all the time and wonder if you’re having any luck with the horses wherever it is you might be. Hopefully more than you had when you were here – but perhaps the less said about that the better!! Chin chin.